I find two things reading this.. 1) I 1000% agree with the conclusion. 2) This is another compelling story to me showing how differently 2 people experienced someone. (If I recall, Middle school band was Mr Williams.. who I remember incredibly fondly, with his mint Red old school VW Bug Convertible, and always smiling, and who helped me love band/music (trombone) in a way that shaped my High School and college experience! I say that as someone who never made al-state or anything (unlike a number of peers in the band) and as someone who would definitely write things on his paper and employee tricks to keep up at that time.. BUT.. the "KEY" moment of being told you didn't belong was something I NEVER saw/experienced.. and I HATE that it happened to someone else. but either way, interesting, and yeah.. with 2 kids, we are firmly in the "you can do anything" and my most frequently used thing with both of them with sports recently "No, I do not care if you win or lose, all I care about is that you tried your hardest. Win or lose, if I didn't see effort, then we are having a conversation." (which then dovetails into the "do you WANT to do this? Well, if so, you aren't showing it with effort.. and if not, great, let's find an outlet you do want to do!")
It's possible my memory around who told me what is faulty. Could have even been my elementary school teacher trying to toughen me up for middle school and then I quit at the end of fifth grade, which would be ironic since it sounds like Mr. Williams might have been more understanding.
Anything is possible.. I know for CERTAIN that based on the day/moment/etc almost anyone is capable of either direction.. so I wouldn't sweat it.. the end conclusion is still accurate.
I find two things reading this.. 1) I 1000% agree with the conclusion. 2) This is another compelling story to me showing how differently 2 people experienced someone. (If I recall, Middle school band was Mr Williams.. who I remember incredibly fondly, with his mint Red old school VW Bug Convertible, and always smiling, and who helped me love band/music (trombone) in a way that shaped my High School and college experience! I say that as someone who never made al-state or anything (unlike a number of peers in the band) and as someone who would definitely write things on his paper and employee tricks to keep up at that time.. BUT.. the "KEY" moment of being told you didn't belong was something I NEVER saw/experienced.. and I HATE that it happened to someone else. but either way, interesting, and yeah.. with 2 kids, we are firmly in the "you can do anything" and my most frequently used thing with both of them with sports recently "No, I do not care if you win or lose, all I care about is that you tried your hardest. Win or lose, if I didn't see effort, then we are having a conversation." (which then dovetails into the "do you WANT to do this? Well, if so, you aren't showing it with effort.. and if not, great, let's find an outlet you do want to do!")
It's possible my memory around who told me what is faulty. Could have even been my elementary school teacher trying to toughen me up for middle school and then I quit at the end of fifth grade, which would be ironic since it sounds like Mr. Williams might have been more understanding.
Anything is possible.. I know for CERTAIN that based on the day/moment/etc almost anyone is capable of either direction.. so I wouldn't sweat it.. the end conclusion is still accurate.