Comics and Colons

in which our hero celebrates pre-orders and encourages colonoscopies

Dear Readers,

Before I share with you my observations on colonoscopies, allow me to share the great news that pre-orders for The Blood of Seven Queens #1 are now available! I’m also happy to share an extended preview for any and all readers below. So, keep on scrolling if you’re here for the comics alone and don’t want to hear the story of my ass and what we found in there. You’ll know you’ve reached the comic when there’s nifty pictures and whatnot.

I will spare you the pictures of the inside of my butt, even though the doctor did not spare me.

Why do they include images on the report they give to patients, anyway? Does anyone know? It was weird enough when I accidentally happened upon the images of my wife’s colon while filing paperwork last year. To see my own, though… somehow, that felt even weirder.

Did I miss a checkbox somewhere that could have spared me that inside look at my pooping apparatus? I will have to read the forms much more carefully next time.

At any rate, though the doctor did find two polyps, I’m told that’s nothing to worry about and I’m reassured by friends and relatives who’ve gone before me that the secret to preventing colon cancer is simply to get yourself screened. And so, that’s why I’m sharing this story with you. If you’re someone approaching the age when the doctors are like, “Mr. DeMille, your colon is ready for its close-up,” do not put it off. Yes, the prep sucks. Yes, it’s really off-putting when, by the end of the process, you feel like you’re peeing out of the wrong hole. But it might save your goddamned life.

Oh, and you might end up—as I did—with a surgical team who are so chipper after a day of investigating the inner workings of a half-dozen rectums that you can’t help but relax in the wake of their enthusiasm.

Alright, that’s all from me for this week. Here’s a preview of my comic book, which is coming out next month and which I am very happy with at this point in time.

Yours,
Chris